i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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