Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Never joke about your clitoris.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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