what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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