Your tits are I can't wait for
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
