Porn is love you can see.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
