I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
