My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
