Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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