I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
