I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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