This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
