I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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