when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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