They should really pass out barf bags in church
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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