omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
