i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
