Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
