doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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