I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
