Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize