Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
