She said her name was "party"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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