Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
