Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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