so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
