he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
