Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
