she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
