I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
