Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
