So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
