but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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