It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
