Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
