Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
