how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
