idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
