so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
