i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
