yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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