Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
