did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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