No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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