1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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