There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
