dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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