I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
