oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
