Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Panties = found
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
