one might say we're banned from that church
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
nutella sex= disaster
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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