yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
