There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
