what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
