put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
