And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
