She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
