You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
