I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
