'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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