If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I could fuck to npr.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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