im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
