Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
